as i was walking up to the main hall of my school this morning, i saw someone pull right up to the front steps to drop off a student. it reminded me of all the times my father would drop me off in front of AC, usually right as the bell was ringing. i never wanted to get my driver's license, and i said it was because i lived so close to the city that it was unnecessary. really, though, i just didn't want my father to stop dropping me off at school. and i didn't want to lose that twenty minute car ride. he worked so much, and he was always so tired because my mother usually spent half the night yelling or drunkenly cursing at him, but he was always cheery and awake in the morning when i was tired and grumbly and trying to study since she had been yelling or drunkenly cursing at me, too. i mean, she still does the same crap to him and he's still cheery and positive, but i think his outlook may be waning now, and i wish i could do something about it. there were times in autumn when border road was all reds and golds and the mystic river sparkled in the sun, and i'm sure he was thinking about how he'd skip school to drive his boat there years ago, about how happy he was then. man, i wish he were still that happy now. now, i think, when he drives down that road, looking out the window, the memories are layered so that i'm sitting in the car next to him while, beyond me, he's waterskiing with his friends from high school on the water sparkling in the sun. time's funny that way. memory's funny that way.
that didn't start out as being that depressing, jesus! the moral of the story is that my dad is awesome, and i wish his life were awesome too. right now he's having money issues, and job issues, and the same old he's married to a wackjob issues, and it just sucks. and i don't know what to do to make it better, or if i can do anything at all. and i miss him, of course, since he is my BFF. sigh.
in other, non-depressing news: i want to go to making time tonight, and the zombie crawl tomorrow. i don't know if either of these things will happen, because my friends are lame. making time i can live without, since we're probably going to end up getting lazaro's (the pizza of the gods) and beer. but.. zombie crawl! ZOMBIES. if anyone is interested in either of these events, let me know.
also: i miss spain. boo.